I’ve got sore bits…… you know…..down there, yes, those bits, and this freaky lady grabbed them to have a look, I have …never been more affronted, I didn’t know where to look, my eyeballs nearly popped out my head, she had my jubbly in her freezing cold hand, then she put this slimey yukky stuff on it and popped a tabbylet down my neck, not good ladies and gentlemen, not good at all, I’m sure there’s a Helpline I should be calling!!
Auntie Lolly was actually very surprised at how good I was, after the initial getting to know Toby and Yoko which took the whole long mahoosive time of 2 minutes, I had a fantabulous Wrestlemania match with Yokonoby (that’s her Stage Name) and mine is Lenahoolio we did 5 rounds before we collapsded on the floor, Do you know that if I sits down and gives a paw, I get a treat!!!! and if I wait nicely when my bowl is put on the floor It has porridge and apple in it, It’s amazing,
Auntie Lolly is trying so hard to find out if I have any problems, but at the moment she can’t really find anything, and believe me she has tried, she’s poked me prodded me, stuck a thermometer up my bahookie <——(Another blemish on my good character) ragdolled me around the living room and even dare I say it dragged me up for a dance and nothing, nowt, nada, now this ladies and gentlemen is as much as I can take, her wobbly bits keep wobbling hours after she stops, believe me I have witnessed it jiggle jaggle endlessly, I can no longer look at her as I’m afraid my eyesight will fail. Please Please Please Come Rescue Me, I don’t know how much longer I can hold on to my Sanity and Dignity!!!!